Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk is not a location!
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