whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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