Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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