i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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