i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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