Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
