I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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