sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
