I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
