She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
