i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize