but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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