just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
