I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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