We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize