listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
