go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
