Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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