Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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