Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
