You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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