are you still at the devil's house?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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