i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
