the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
