Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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