My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
