My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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