I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
