I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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