So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
