Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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