Are we in a gay sports bar?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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