1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
