your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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