I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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