hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
