We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
