Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
