so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
