im drinking this country out of the recession.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
