Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize