Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
