so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
