South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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