Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
