i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
