something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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