Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize