I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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