Pappa wants mamma naked
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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