Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
