Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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