This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize