So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
