Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
