I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
