Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize