I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
