someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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