So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
