The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
