Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
