I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
