Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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