I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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