based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
