the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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