If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
