im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
