his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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