he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
