We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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