Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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