Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
