What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Panties = found
Randomize
