Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
