At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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