Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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