so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
